Couples Therapy and Relationship Counselling in Vancouver

Individual, partner, and multi-partner relationship therapy with phil di Loreto, RCC. Affirming of queer, LGBTQ+, and ethically non-monogamous relationships.

What Is Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy, also called relationship counselling, is a form of psychotherapy that helps partners understand the patterns shaping their relationship, improve communication, and work through conflict, disconnection, or significant transitions. It is relevant at any stage of a relationship, from early friction to deeper ruptures, and is not limited to romantic couples in crisis.

At Here We Are Therapy, relationship therapy is explicitly inclusive of queer and LGBTQ+ partnerships, ethically non-monogamous (ENM) and polyamorous relationships, and any configuration of partners. The framing here is affirming, not clinical: your relationship structure is not the problem to be solved.

Common reasons people seek couples therapy include recurring conflict, communication breakdowns, shifts in intimacy or connection, navigating relationship transitions, and wanting to build stronger relational skills before problems escalate.

Smiling man with dark hair and light-colored shirt sitting on a couch in a bright room with large windows.

How Phil Approaches Couples Therapy

Phil di Loreto, RCC, draws on two evidence-based frameworks: Gottman Method and Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT). The Gottman Method focuses on understanding the specific patterns of interaction that strengthen or erode a relationship, using structured tools to improve communication and repair. EFT works at the level of emotional experience, helping partners identify and express underlying needs and attachment patterns that drive conflict.

Both approaches are adapted with a culturally informed and affirming lens. This means the therapy is designed to work with your specific relationship structure, identities, and community context, not a default model that assumes a particular type of partnership.

phil holds a Master of Counselling from City University of Seattle and is a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) with the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors.

Meet Phil

What to Expect from Couples Therapy with phil

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The process begins with an initial session that includes all partners. This first meeting focuses on the relationship's history, each person's intentions, and what you hope to work toward.
The Gottman Relationship Checkup is shared with all partners to complete.

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This is followed by one individual session per partner. These sessions give each person space to share their unique experience in the relationship, and help phil understand each person's individual context and needs.

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From there, we come back together to review the learnings from our initial couples’ session, individual sessions, and Gottman Relationship Checkup to understand the strengths and challenges in the relationship, and set a path forward for our work together.

  • Partners develop concrete tools for expressing needs, responding to each other under stress, and working through disagreements without escalation.

  • Therapy helps identify the cycles that feel stuck and what is driving them, making it possible to shift them into new and healthy ways of connecting.

  • Therapy creates a space to rebuild trust, deepen intimacy, and reestablish a sense of connection that may have eroded over time.

What Couples Therapy Can Help You Build

A joyful young woman with curly hair being carried on a man's back through a grassy field with trees and a partly cloudy sky in the background.

Understand your patterns, strengthen connection, and build a relationship that feels secure, responsive, and fulfilling.

This work is fully affirming of queer relationships, ethically non-monogamous structures, polyamorous partnerships, open relationships, and all relationship configurations. You won't need to explain or justify how you love.

Couples Therapy and Counselling

  • Yes. Many couples seek therapy before issues escalate, as a way to build stronger communication skills and understand each other more fully. Therapy is not limited to relationships in distress.

  • Yes, explicitly. Here We Are Therapy is affirming of all relationship structures, including queer and LGBTQ+ partnerships, ethically non-monogamous relationships, and polyamorous configurations. phil brings both professional training and lived community experience to this work.

  • Gottman Method uses research-based tools focused on communication patterns and relationship behaviours. Emotionally Focused Therapy works at the level of emotional experience and attachment, helping partners understand the deeper feelings and insecurities that drive conflict. Both are evidence-based; phil integrates elements of each based on what is most useful for a given couple.

  • There is no fixed number. Some couples work through a specific issue in eight to twelve sessions; others find ongoing support useful over a longer period. phil will discuss a recommended approach after the initial assessment sessions.

  • 75-minute sessions are available both in-person and virtually at $295 per session. 50-minute sessions can be made available for a lower rate, although it is harder to give all partners space to feel supported in a 50-minute session.

  • As a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC), phil's services are covered by most extended health benefit plans. Coverage varies by insurer and plan. We recommend checking your policy directly.

Common Questions

Check out our FAQ for more info!

Book a Free Couples Therapy Consultation in Vancouver

phil di Loreto, RCC, is currently accepting new couples and relationship clients in Vancouver, with telehealth available across BC and Ontario. The first step is a consultation to discuss your situation and whether couples therapy is a good fit.

Here We Are Therapy serves clients across Vancouver, including the West End, Kitsilano, and Commercial Drive.

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