Taking Your Next Step

therapycounselling

Sep 4

I've always found it funny when I see any messages about “taking the first step”. In some ways, I get it. You're taking the first step when you decide to change careers, to become a parent, to start writing your next chapter. I think this misses a really important acknowledgement. You've been taking steps your whole life. So, I don't think it's about taking the first step; I think it's about taking your next step.

We're always doing this thing called life. Whether we realize it or not, each day the sun rises, and we do it again, this thing called life. I explicitly use the term “doing”, because, for the most part, living in the Western world does require “doing”. You may have heard the expression: “We're human beings, not human doings.” I’ve appreciated that as a reminder to simply pause and “be”. And (not but), the reality is, life is asking us to “do” things. It's calling to us to show up for our loved ones, to show up for ourselves, and to be a contribution. Are you starting to see it? You're always taking steps.

What direction are you headed?

You may not know the direction you're headed. Or maybe you thought you were headed a certain direction, and things changed. That's life doing its life thing. Just when you thought you had it all worked out, life reminds you it doesn't work that way. Suddenly, all the things you’ve been doing, either consciously or unconsciously, that have served you up to now in helping you build relationships, build a career, and live a fulfilling life, aren't working anymore. You’ve been doing these things, which have kept you safe, for so long, that it’s completely normal to stay stuck in the same pattern of doing these same things, over and over, even when they’re no longer working. So you keep doing what you’re doing. You keep trying. You keep taking steps.

At some point, you might decide that you want to start doing this life thing differently. Hopefully, you have some great people to reach out to who can help you along the way. This could be loved ones, mentors, or teachers. Maybe you've tried working with these folks and you’re still caught in the same patterns, or maybe you don't know where else to go.

How can therapy help?

I believe it's so important to start by acknowledging all of the effort that you put in to get here, to value the person you are, and to recognize all of the steps you've taken to lead a meaningful life (whether it feels like it or not, your life is always meaningful). I believe you need to get to know yourself, your hardships, your joys, so that you can tell your story in a way that feels meaningful to you. It's by honouring your story and the person you are today that you can keep taking steps towards the person you want to continue to become, with intention.

My hope for you is that you're taking each step with intention, in alignment with your values, in alignment with the person you want to be, and living a life that feels true and right to you. If you’re living a wholehearted, authentic life, then I believe that no matter what life throws your way, through all the ups, downs and all arounds, you can stand tall, and keep going.

If ever you need a fellow traveller along the way, even for a short while to take the next step with you, I'm here for it.